A Luv That No's Know Bounds
by Dracoz-numba-1
Summary: The gritty tale of deception and deceit, set in mock-Tudor later-twentieth century Scotland, focusing on Draco and Hermione but taking in other subsidiary characters that may or may not be part of the novels. Written by someone with nothing but admiratio
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer – I do NOT own any of these CHARACTERZ! They are owned by JK ROWLING, who is not only a far better writer than ME (just!) but manages to steer WELL clear of unnecessary CAPITALISATION!!!! GO JK!!!

LOL!!!

**THIS WHOLE STORIE IS DEDICATED TO HELEN!!! SHE RELLY LOVEZ FANFICTION!!! HOPE U FEEL BETTA SOON!**

So'z then, shall we begn?

Hahahah plz dnt flame me!!! I need at lst 12 affirmations of my own self-worth (reviews) before I will deign to continue.

LOL!!!

So ReViEw AwAy ThEn GuYz!!1 I LoVe YoU aLl!!!!!

Anywayz...

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Hermione was on the train. Outside the hills were green and brown and rolled off into the distance for miles and miles even though it was misty and getting dark you could see quite a long way by the light of the moon which was almost full (A/N that's called a 'gibbous' moon, I just looked it up! How smart am I!?! Lol) and it was beginning to rain big ol' fat rain as Forrest Gump would say even though it was supposed to be summer that's pretty fucked up isn't it lol. Her compartment was empty. But for her owl, Johann (A/N Hez sooo cute too...!! LOL) who sat on the window ledge of the train, sat her owl. Suddenly, the door opened and who was to walk in butt (dun dun DUNNNN) Draco Malfoy. Now Mione had n't seen draco all summer, and boy had he changed! Two short months before when they were mortal, sworn enemies, she would just have spat in his beautiful, godlike face but now... she was stunned. (A/N Know how she feels hahahaha some peeps think author notes aren't necessary but I feel they add to the poetic resonance of the piece. Review wit yo thoughts, guyz!)

Draco had always been herculean in his appearance, girls just fell at his feet on a daily bases, but now he was just so LUSH! He had carefully spiked his hare and looked so COOL!!! Used gel and everything. He had clearly been working out, he was soo hottt! As for his personality, he was still a homicidal maniac with a masochistic streak wider than the M25, but that's hardly a concern when he's so damn FIT!. As for mione, she was for allmost a different person too! In the space of the summer she had aged about ten years in psysical appearance, yet receded a good half-decade or so in terms of intellect.

'_Such is life', thought the narrator,hurriedly taking another line of cocaine before returning to his keyboard._

Draco sat down next to Mione.

"Heya Granger, fancy seeing you hear" he sneered

"Oh shut up, malfoy"

A pause.

"So, you're hot now mione."  
"yes I am." Mione said, the unexpected flattery causing her, quite naturally, to forget years of unbridled hatred, "and you're not too bad yourself."  
"yes mione. Girls cannot control themselves in my Adonis-like presence. It's really a bit of a bore, but then I suppose I'll just have to struggle through with it one day at a time. So, wanna make sex?"

"yeah ok. I mean, we are hot and stuff, we shouldn't stand in the way of what could well be true Love!" repplyed mione, inwardly confused at her completely unbelieveable u-turn in both personality and appearance (but in possession of such a remarkable lack of morality or self-restrait that in the end it really didn't matter).

Soon they were at it like a pair of rutting elks. Love is a beautiful thing. Espeically True Love, between two consenting minors; previously sworn enemies whose only thing in common is their mutual loathing for any thought that even begins to probe the blatant materialism of their empty, self-obsessed existences.

46 seconds later, draco took the last drag of his second post-coital cigarette and flicked it out of the open window.

"Right Mione, I'm off. Bye then"

"yeah ok. That was the greatest experience of my life let us do it again sometime or not if your busy or maybe we could just go for a romantic picnic and see where things take us its entirely up to you my love maybe we could even just meet up after class one day and have a talk-

The narrator sits back and winces as his hands start to go blue and twitch uncontrollably, unused to this complete disregard for the full stop or, indeed, any redeeming features whatsoever

Draco nodded, only slightly disconcerted as hermione gasped for breath and toppled off the chair, exhausted after finishing such an impossibly long sentence and suffering the beginnings of the lung strain that would plague her until her dying day.

G2G I'm afriad! More soon! NEXT CHAP IS A SONGFIC FOR THE RASMUS'S 'IN THE SHADOWS'!!!! I want at least 47 reviews!!! ThAnKs GuYz! Lovez ya all !!!


	2. The Rise and Fall of Draco Whateverhissu...

Wow guyz, it's been a blast. The first chapter of this got so many reviews over the last 9 monthz I just had to give my loyal fanz another snippet! N shit…. I got a junior book deal in my neighbourhood off this realz kewl guy who says I only need to do some stuff for him and he'll publish my book. He said more young girls should have as ridiculous an attitude to sex and cocaine use as me. He's so super kewl, you should all look out for your own 'special friend', as he likes me to call him. You get loads of like money and destiny's child cds and shit, it's brilliant.

* * *

Their romance had blossomed quickly, like the rose-tinted cherry trees that lined the scrubby track down to the lake where they had spent their first night together. Snuggled up for warmth by the glow of their dying campfire, lost amid the gentle rustle of waves kissing the gravel beach and the soaring panorama of stars whirling overhead, each knew that they were truly blessed to find such a true, immutable love. The eastern sky had lightened to orange, the obsidian sheen of the lake had erupted into fire as the sun crested the rolling hills, and each had known that they would be together forever, despite the fact that being fourteen they were far too stupid to make such a judgement and even their few remaining friends had taken to passing the days organising school-wide sweepstakes on who would dump who first and within how many days. Bitterness is the greatest fuel. And with the same innocence as the cherry blossoms that snaked up behind them, neither had anticipated the fall from grace which, in the end, would come as surely as autumn browned the leaves on those trees, and as surely as early teens will think they know things about 'life' because they own a Will and Grace boxset and once watched Se7en when their parents were out.

Mione (still somehow able to exist happily in a world where such a nickname could exist) had been walking along happily one day in late July, her arm tucked waggishly through Draco's, listening to him talk endlessly about everything and nothing – his love of Maroon 5, the latest pro-skateboarding game out on the Playstation, how he really really dug that chick out of 24 who always gets kidnapped (Mione didn't mind, she thought it was 'cute', kind of like that list they did in that episode of Friends only not funny whatsoever), his discovery of this hilarious website where people with no talent wrote about fictional characters they didn't invent having ludicrous relationships… the list was endless. She was lost in how cool he was, how his tirelessly crafted gel quiff of a fringe never looked shit, how he wrote 'lyrics' (or 'thought poems' as he liked to call them) on the back of his hand or the back of bus tickets. He said one day he was going to get a band and make it big. He would have to take up herion first, but she knew where to get some. It seemed their world was as perfect as the O.C. and just as annoying for everybody else that isn't in it.

Then it happened. And this is roughly how it went:

They were sitting on the grass outside that big building from the books ("Hogwarts" I think it's called); he was making daisy chains and she was playing with her mobile phone. He said,

"Hey 'Mione (a million readers cringe), you should get that 'crazy frog' thing. It's so neat and funny, I wish I had a phone so I could play it all the time and laugh."

Something snapped that moment in Hermione Granger. Now I realise this chapter bears no relation to the other one, but I can't say that's stopped anybody else on this site, so her character might seem to have changed a bit. Don't worry about this, just go along with it. Anyway… something in her broke forever. She felt an energy roaring through her arms, felt her teeth grinding in her mouth, felt a red fog snake through the tunnels of her mind, and she pounced through the air with a ear-shredding scream of love-freshly-turned-hate that spun the heads of all her fellow students in a half-mile radius.

Raining down skull-shattering blows on Draco's head, she accompanied each with a bellowed word of rage,

"NO – YOU – DON'T – EVER – MENTION – THAT – FUCKING – FROG – AGAIN – YOU – TERRIBLE – BASTARD – NOW – GET – OUT – OF – MY – FUCKING – SIGHT"

Draco squealed in terror and Harry came trotting out of a nearby door, dressed head to foot in a salmon-pink shell suit with gold ribbon accessories. He thrust Mione away and embraced Draco tightly to his heaving bosom.

It was at this point (not, you notice, the Maroon 5 thing or pretending to like the 'chick out of 24') that Mione realised Draco was, in fact, not as certain about his leanings as she was. That this bears no resemblance whatsoever to the published works of JK Rowling is of as little consequence to me as it is to the rest of you on this site – ie, I don't give a fuck and neither do you.

"Fuck YOU, honky", said Draco, who was now inexplicably of African-American descent, "Stop messing wit me else I pop a cap in yo bitch ass"

(You might notice that racial/sexual stereotypes are also bandied about fairly liberally here; this is intentional, bear with me)

Harry dusted him down and dragged him back inside, whilst Mione pondered the plot structure of this chapter and quite why it makes so little sense.

Then the writer got bored and finished Chapter 2.


End file.
